Freshly of a 10-year matrimony, I found myself truly naive about
hookup tradition
and gender in general. Looking right back, We see
countless red flags
from inside the guy I dated for 5 months after my personal breakup. Here you will find the symptoms we missed that I found myself matchmaking a closet sex addict.

1. 
   The guy planned to have intercourse always.
   
   We had been having sex at least fourfold every single day. To start with I didn’t understand it actually was strange; I would been married for quite a long time before I dated him thus I don’t know very well what was a “normal” amount of sex. While I had been married, regular used to be four weeks, when I started internet dating he, i simply thought he was really, truly drawn to me. I mean, I
   
   am
   
   pretty amazing.
2. 
   He was painfully shy.
   
   I understand this does not seem like it fits, but the guy met all his girlfriends on the web, thus I thought he’d never ever had a one-night stand. I could never ever picture him picking right on up a woman in a bar. Works out, the guy came across everyone else on Craigslist, Tinder, or any other hookup apps. I am just not saying all shy men are closet sex addicts, but I
   
   am
   
   proclaiming that getting shy does not rule it.
3. 
   He cherished feamales in all shapes and forms.
   
   In a perfect globe, all males would never care about any woman’s imperfections. The truth is, we’ve all outdated males who’d their unique choices and dislikes. He’d nothing. In the beginning I was thinking it actually was empowering; he appeared to
   accept myself for my situation
   . He’d highlight females he discovered appealing, and they varied from rail-thin to obese, blond to black colored locks, pale epidermis to dark skin. We never when thought terrible about any element of my body and then he never forced me to feel unsightly, but afterwards, I had to wonder: who’s really drawn to
   
   everybody
   
   ?
4. 
   He’d some unusual sexual encounters in his last.
   
   Exactly who in the morning we to evaluate if he performed some things that I would personallyn’t have? Didn’t we all have a past? At first I became excited having located somebody thus open. We purposefully didn’t respond as he informed me in regards to the time he found men on Craigslist to get regarding the receiving end of a glory opening. (It wasn’t gay, the guy revealed, since he couldn’t look at man. The guy watched right porno whilst the man performed oral on him from behind a bit of cardboard.) Subsequently there seemed to be the amount of time he participated in a threesome, additionally the time a lady involved their work so he could fist the lady. I must acknowledge We loved enjoying their stories, but I happened to be beginning to fret that things he previously done in their past could be situations he’d wish once more in his future.
5. 
   The guy watched porn… loads.
   
   From the our very own first conversation about pornography. He was very amazed to listen to that I didn’t have a problem with it. Just how could I influence he wasn’t permitted to view porn? That would suggest
   
   I
   
   was not permitted to watch it, and
   I liked porno
   . Unless it stopped him from willing to be personal with me, I didn’t see difficulty. It never ever became problematic; the guy always however wanted sex. It wasn’t until after we separated that he admitted it had been preventing him obtaining his work accomplished every day.
6. 
   He owned his or her own company.
   
   In the event that you consistently want to watch porn, masturbate, swipe on Tinder, or organize gay craigslist hookups, what better position getting rather than becoming your personal supervisor? He could leave many times through the day without anybody knowing—including myself.
7. 
   He would never let me know their “number.”
   
   I didn’t ask outright but we joked regarding it. The guy told me he’d never tell me his number. We included upwards his past girlfriends and thought that wide variety. He chuckled and told me, “Probably much more.” I figured he would outdated a lot more ladies than I’d been aware of. I never ever thought he’d hooked up with many arbitrary folks.
8. 
   He had been really, great at sex.
   
   I was thinking it had been because we had been thus in track emotionally. He taken notice of my cues during sex like hardly any other man ever endured. As it works out, he’d simply had some exercise. Though i possibly couldn’t stay with him after I learned he had been cheating (with the amount of people!), I’ll remember him as most readily useful intercourse I ever had.